thrive community

Jaida Li

December 23, 2009 started off as an ordinary day but little did we know Christmas was coming early and we would be receiving the greatest Christmas present ever.

It was a typical winter day with light snow showers which I always enjoy. With not much to do and, like everyone else, not much money to spend, Jenny and I would venture out to spend the day together for some window shopping at the mall after an early lunch.

The mall parking lot was packed because of all the Christmas shoppers. I dropped Jenny off near entrance of the mall so she could go ahead and put our names on the list at our beloved Cheesecake Factory.

I had to drive out to the south forty where I still had to wait for a parking spot. I hustled back to meet Jenny in the busy restaurant where we were seated in a small booth after a short wait.

Opposite of those around us, we were in no great hurry and just wanted to enjoy being together and enjoying the food. After being accosted by grinches at the table across from us, our waitress came over and greeted us with a smile. Wanting to be totally opposite of the “mean” table, we tried to put our waitress at ease, letting her know we were in no hurry.

Normally, when we dine out, we eat more than any human should be allowed to consume. Wanteing to watch our spending and our waists, we intentionally ordered slowly and ordered less. A couple of appetizers and some potato soup would hit the spot on this cold, snowy day.

Our waitress brought out the soup and our conversation turned to the consuming, yet repetitive topics around our long-awaited adoption. Over this four-year long process, we’ve waded through so many emotions, from feeling hopeful to feeling discouraged like it would never happen. After the second year, we actually had the hard conversation to determine whether we were going to quit or keep going through the international adoption process. We were in too deep to quit and too stubborn to give up. So, circling back in our conversation to the girl we longed for was a normal part of our lives. The adoption referral could come at anytime but we were still feeling like it was still so far out of reach.

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http://www.vimeo.com/3058105

In light of Gods forgiveness towards us, it’s important that we remember to give grace in the same way it’s been offered to us.

What do you think?

Our perspectives of what it means to be loved is greatly influenced by how people have treated us in the past. For most of us, we are fortunate to have received grace in extreme ways from friends and family who show care for us the most. But even with our closest relationships, there have been conditions to its delivery.

The goal of God is to shape our hearts to be like his, especially for those of us who are followers of Jesus. The more we come to know his heart, the more freedom we will find to express the love we discover there.

The conditions for which God is willing to express his love are boundless in comparison to ours. The Bible clearly illustrate God’s unlimited grace towards those who need it most. God’s desire to reach needy humanity with his love takes precedent over any perceived limitations the average person may see. God is willing to do whatever it takes and leaves no doubt that his love for us is inexhaustible.

In the story of the prodigal son, Jesus is trying to illustrate to the Pharisees and the teachers of the law that God loves sinners in spite of their sin. Jesus takes the opportunity to paint an extreme picture explaining how far God will go, no matter how far “the sinner” has gone.

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Grace. What a powerful word. It’s even more powerful to those who understand the depth of its meaning from personal experience. The great exchange where weary souls can finally rest.

It is finished. Three beautiful words. They, too are words of rest but are also words of beauty that, once understood, will release joy and worship. The great exchange where weary souls are finally free.

Rest and freedom are the fruit of a life that understands the “good news” that Jesus spoke of. For some reason, the fruit of the “good news” in most churches actually looks like bad news. I know the words are spoken the same, but the end result in their parishioners lives looks nothing like rest and freedom.

You see, most people who profess to follow Jesus are not really free. There is an unconscious enslavement to a lifestyle of “proving their worthiness to God” and have yet to realize they don’t need to anymore.

What we don’t realize is that God is more excited about this idea than we are (Eph. 1:5). Yet our tendency is to keep working to get His “thumbs up” for our inferior attempts so that, by some means, we can get Him to like us more. We are enamored and distracted by our own efforts, hoping they will draw God’s favorable attention, all the while He’s trying to get our attention by pointing to the cross.

What we have here is a failure to communicate, and I don’t think God is the one who needs a better hearing aid on this one.

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Following Jesus means that you’ve signed up for a life-long journey of change. It’s a relationship that will directly confront your character, conduct and calling for the rest of your life.

We all go through different seasons of our lives where change comes easy and the outcomes are seamless and painless. It runs in parallel with who we are, what we desire to do and we are able to live happily with it. But other seasons of change are hard to endure under the weight and pressure it places on our life. The confrontation of change can be harsh, debilitating and deadly, especially when it comes to the issues that lie deep in our soul.

I’ve been dealing with a season of change as of late, not because I’ve been confronted by it, but because I sought it out first. My wife and I have been going to counseling for a few months. We’re going, not because we have a bad marriage, but because we want our good marriage to be even better. The longing of our hearts is to have uninhibited intimacy and are willing to fight for the heart of each other and fight for our own heart to be free and full so that we can love each other the way God intended with full acceptance, full emotion for each other and with full trust. But the freedom we desire comes at a price we must be willing to pay.

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I met with a few people today who are interested in being small group leaders. It was refreshing to hear their hearts as well as their different perspectives on what they see as ministry. Our goal as a church is to help people get freed up to be themselves and help them to see how they can serve others with their gifts and passions, where they are.

Leah is helping us create a singles group. After our official, “blessing of the pastor” meeting, we got a chance to talk with her and get to know her a little better. She grew up Catholic and didn’t even think she would ever be back in church. She’s growing in her walk with Christ and has a great passion to create a family for single people and help them belong. As she shared her story, I could hardly keep still, or quiet for that matter. God was stirring me and encouraging me as she shared about her journey, her coming to Jesus and following after His call.

As you might have known, I started jabbering away. Being around an excited Christ follower with a willing heart and a blossoming faith is like smoking crack to this preacher man (though, I, myself have not tried it but I hope the religious people will follow my analogy without legalistic judgement!). I would rather be around a raw, vibrant, passionate Believer than a settled, bland pretender who can talk a good game of Bible trivia, does “Church” well, but their life shout out to the world around them with a resounding…”BORING!”

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There aren’t many television shows I like to watch our regular basis, but one of them is Extreme Home Makeover. About a month ago, the show was about a young man named Bernard McFarland. He’s known in his community as a person who makes a difference. He began an outreach for young boys in the same community where he grew up and currently lives in the neighborhood with his three teenage sons.

His heart and passion was indescribable. The emotion in which he talked about his boys, his community, and the need he sees around him was amazing. It made me want to jump through the television and go help him at that moment. Bernard was doing much with almost nothing. He was living in a dilapidated home, using a broken down Van and a tiny concrete slab for a basketball court to reach dozens of needy kids. But he was making a difference.

When the Extreme Home Makeover team arrived, he met them with great joy and overwhelming tears. As the show revealed what they were doing for him and giving to him, he was thankful at every turn. He would always turn to his boys, hug them and draw them in to let them know that he loved them and that he appreciated this blessing they were to share as a family.

But one thing really stood out to me. As the team inquired as to why he did what he did,Bernard began to share about how his pastor had preached a sermon a long time ago that stuck with him to this very day. The point of the message was this — “lift as you climb.”

“All of this wasn’t about me,” Bernard said. “I was just doing what was in my heart.”

The phrase “lift as you climb” was a seed that had taken root deep in his heart, transforming the way he lived. This phrase should also be the statement that is rooted in the heart of everyone who follows Jesus.

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Opening Day of baseball is a day I try not to miss. I’ve not been able to attend the past few years but I try to be involved, either by watching it on TV or catching the highlights on the evening news. Memorial Day is a special day as well. Watching the parades, listening to patriotic music and getting the chance to say “thank you” to all of our military is truly wonderful. There’s something deeper to these moments for me.

For one, participating with thousands of others singing the National Anthem is a very emotional thing. Then, comes the loud, powerful roar of the F-16’s as they fly over the stadium with precision timing and formation. Screaming and clapping are our best attempt to join this awe inspiring moment.

I get to live in the greatest country on the planet (in my humble opinion) and have a deep sense of gratitude for all that this country has given me. I’ve always been amazed at the level of sacrifice that millions of our soldiers have made to protect, defend and honor our country. The greatest expression of love is when someone lays their live down for the sake of someone else (John 15:13). It reminds me of the greater calling of every person to live for others and something bigger than themselves. It’s the way of Jesus.

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I’m a nostalgic person at heart. I hold on to things and enjoy recalling the stories that go with them, especially things that center around experiences I’ve had with people. They represent a connection that has seemed to bind us together on a deeper level. It’s the creation of stories and having people who know your stories. 

Everybody wants to be known, to feel included and to be connected. Take FaceBook and Twitter for example. These social networks were created out of an incredible need that people have to know people and be known by others, even on the most trivial of levels. People share who they are, give updates on what they are currently doing, share photos, join affinity groups and discover new people to be connected with. FaceBook has an estimated two hundred million users while the newly established Twitter has attracted over fourteen million users in the U.S. alone and is rapidly growing.

Knowing someone goes beyond the cognitive and the informative to the intimate and the spiritual. It’s a divine experience that comes from engaging our heart with another human being. But offering insights ABOUT you is different than offering experiences WITH you. It’s how we move from the fictional person we want others to think we are to the person we are in reality. It’s where “knowing” genuinely happens.

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A spiritual mentoring relationship can be like no other you’ll ever have, but finding one can be a very challenging task, especially when you don’t know where to begin.

We all need someone to learn from, to be a sounding board for decisions and to help us see our potential. The growing desire for someone further along in the faith to encourage us, teach us and give us guidance in life is easy to detect, but the hard part is discovering who a spiritual mentor could be or should be.

It’s vitally important that you find someone who is able and willing to do life with you. But there’s more to it than just what your mentor will bring to the table. It involves what you bring to the relationship as well.

The greater search is to discover what this relationship will require of you. A healthy mentoring relationship is a two-way connection of giving and taking, investing as well as receiving. Expectations will flow both ways so you and your mentor have a great deal of searching to do and clarifications to make.

Here are a few things to think about as you begin this process…

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