thrive community

We’ve all been here before. It’s that moment when we realize there’s more to life than just getting by. If you’ve never been here before, then you probably have no ambition of ever becoming a constructive human being or accomplishing anything significant in your life like a lazy 30 year-old dude, still living at home with his parents, doesn’t have a job, is a predictable mooch and lives from one excuse to another, justifying his pathetic existence of blogging militantly from his bunk-bed in between playing World of Warcraft with his virtual 15 year-old friend, Hans in Denmark on X-Box Live.

If this describes you, then you are officially a loser and I offer you this counsel: Shut down your computer right now, apologize to your parents for being a loser, take a shower, put on something besides your pajama’s and crocs and go get a job. At this point, in the ‘loser continuum,’ any job will do! (Can you tell I’ve had to give this counsel before?)

For the rest of us, we are probably at a different kind of crossroad. I would guess that most people are looking beyond the path of least resistance to the road of greatest influence. That’s where I am, too.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a great deal about the life I’ve lived and the decisions I’ve made, especially since I’m on the heals of reaching 40. To some, this may seem like some kind of mid-life crisis, but I don’t think it’s an accurate evaluation. I’m not looking to purchase a new sports car or get a hair transplant to improve my self-esteem. (Not that I’m against having either of these if any of you would be willing to pay for it!) What I think best describes where I am would be the place of tension that exists between wanting to do more with my life and discerning what “more” looks like. The older I’m getting, the greater the urgency to make the rest of my days count. Time is getting shorter and the tension is becoming greater.

I had breakfast the other day with Curt Coffman who is an author, speaker, business consultant and dear friend. It was great to catch up on life and get Curt’s help on a book I’m currently writing. In between cleaning our plates and drinking multiple cups of coffee, we took a dive into our lives and the ideas that grip us as passionate, growing leaders and followers of Jesus. Our conversation soon morphed into the topic of what love accomplishes, the central theme of my book. The purpose of “Love Like Crazy” is to help people understand the extreme love of God that transforms us and invites us to love like crazy as a way of life. We talked about identifying the outcomes of love and what it looks like at work in the heart and life of a person following Jesus.

We know that love is always growing and willing to risk vulnerability in order to give life to humanity and bring God’s vision of hope for the future. But there is another motivation at work inside of every human being — EGO! I’ve heard someone say the acronym for ego is “Edging God Out.” Yes, it’s at work in you, me and every breathing person. Self preservation is ego’s “Plan A” by nature. It’s driven by pride with its roots firmly planted in fear and always seeks immediate gratification. Ego-driven accomplishments feel good in the short term, but they can’t sustain long-term productivity and ultimate satisfaction.

Aspiring to do great things can be a demonstration of either confidence or cockiness. Confidence comes from understanding God’s call on our lives and surrendering to God’s heart and His ways. God’s plan is an invitation to become a blessing to humanity driven by His glory and greatness that ultimately makes us come alive and brings satisfaction within our souls. From the Bible, we see many noteworthy examples of God-centered motivation at work in the lives of those pursuing the heart of God. Their desire to serve people and honor God drew them into great tasks.  

Cockiness on the other hand is centered upon selfish promotion, being self-serving with nothing but selfish gain and personal glory in mind. We can also see many examples of this in the Bible as well. A heart to accomplish great things for God isn’t always about ego, but we can manipulate our circumstances by using God as a “trump card” in effort to bypass accountability and give an appearance that what we’re doing is for God when it’s really for ourselves. 

There are some important questions we should take time to ask ourselves and bring them into safe community and redeeming conversation with those who love us most. Is our motivation to accomplish great things motivated out of love or ego? What if a change in our motivation would radically change what we pursue? What if our greatest influence is not what we accomplish, but who we become along the way?

For me, this is a great place for further exploration to see what’s behind this desire to accomplish greater things. I’m asking God to test my heart to see if I’m motivated by love for him or love for me. I would love to say that my desire is to bless others and glorify God, but I know that even in my best moments, I can deceive and fool myself. I know that a pure motivation of love will never be achieved on my own. There must be a radical dependance on God’s grace to change me, lead me and keep me. So I’m on a journey to discover if I’m working ego’s “Plan A” or if there’s a need to adjust my heart and life to God’s plan with a desire to discover more about myself and God along the way. Even if my destination doesn’t change, I pray that I will become the person that God wants me to be along the way. A person that is surrendered to Him and lives to see great things at work in me and through me for the glory of God.

“Plan B,” reality or not, here I come. 

I invite you to join the conversation. I would love to hear what you think.