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So many Christ followers are looking for a spiritual family to help them. There is a desperate need for spiritually mature men and women to mentor young Christians, helping them to clarify what really matters in life.

I am amazed at how many new Christians don’t have anyone to turn to for encouragement, support, counsel and teaching. God intended for his people to be like a family. It’s very clear from Scripture that family relationships are the primary catalyst to life learning and transformation (Deut. 6:4-8)(Eph. 6:4). But instead of helping new believers become rooted and established in healthy relationships, most churches place the major emphasis on programs, attending services, Bible studies, church events, or other ministries.

Don’t get me wrong. These environments are necessary and important for Christ followers to receive needed Biblical education and be exposed to the many essential concepts concerning their faith in Jesus, but God’s primary “delivery system” for life transformation and discipleship is best initiated and sustained through personal relationships. Nothing can take the place and fill the void that every human being has for authentic relationships. We assume they will happen naturally, but they don’t.

I’ve known people who have attended these type of church environments for years and have only learned how to smile, whether genuine or not, say “I’m fine” even when it wasn’t true and were never deeply known by anyone. So, when hard times came, they fell away, not because they didn’t know what to do, but because they had no one to walk through it with them. If connection to Jesus could have been infused with a person, instead of a program, it could have been drastically different. It takes clear, intentional effort to establish a genuine, Christ-following community. And, yes, it is a very time consuming investment. But when it happens, those involved will never be the same, no matter what environment they find themselves in.

I am one of the fortunate people blessed with having a spiritual father in my life. Steve Smothers, my former youth Pastor, has walked this life’s journey with me from my junior year in high school until this very day. Even before I became a Christ follower at age 19, Steve has been involved in every area of my life. God used him in those early days to help me feel a sense of love and value from God because I was able to feel love and value from him. He was a student of God’s Word and always brought us back to Scripture, Jesus and my response to what God would reveal to me. Outside of playing a ton of basketball, I learned great lessons about life, about relationships and how to deal with my failures. I discovered what it meant to follow Jesus and how to embrace God’s dream for me. God used Steve’s words to pour life into my thirsty heart. I tried to find time with him whenever and wherever I could.

The thing I loved most about Steve was that he unashamedly demonstrated what it looked like for a man to follow Jesus with all his heart. While I was still learning how to express the life of Jesus, I can vividly remember impersonating Steve and trying to do what I thought he would do. Little did I know then how similar they both were.

I wasn’t Steve’s project. We “did life” together. It’s funny how I always said I would never be a pastor, and now I am one. Wonder how that happened?  :)

The church in Corinth was one of the most messed up groups of Christ followers the church had ever seen at the time. In Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church, he writes,”for though you might have 10,000 instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers (1 Cor. 4:15).” The Apostle Paul noticed that the Corinthian church had many spiritual teachers, but few spiritual mentors, thus leading to spiritual arrogance more than spiritual maturity. They lacked true spiritual parents or mentors to give them the proper support, training and nurturing they needed to help put their Biblical knowledge into life practice. It led to some insane beliefs and practices that had nothing to do with following Jesus. This can also be said of many churches today.

Paul knew that in order for the church to grow spiritually, each believer must be in authentic relationship with other Christ followers who were further down the journey. These young believers needed to learn how to hear for God themselves and not just be content to do what their instructors told them to do. There was wisdom of life that could only be learned from a loving spiritual father or mother.

Following Christ is more than just gaining more head knowledge. I know too many Christians who have no spiritual parent in their life. All they do is seek to gain more information through listening to sermons, books, CDs, DVDs, going to seminars; all in an attempt to compensate for no genuine relationship with another mature believer. They don’t realize the need for a mentor who will take the time to personally invest in them, nor do they understand how this relationship could help them grow in ways they have yet to comprehend. Their definition of maturity begins to be interpreted by how much they’ve learned instead of how well they’ve lived. So the measuring stick for their growth becomes information with no healthy social interaction to make it come to life.

Understanding biblical doctrine and the truths of God are vital to our maturity. But education alone will never be a good substitute for a mentoring relationship. Engaging in a true spiritual parenting relationship will drastically enhance a person’s spiritual development.

As we mature and grow in our faith in Christ, we must have the same passion that Paul did to impart a spiritual legacy that will help us and those we invest in finish well. 1 Corinthians 11:1 reads,”follow my example as I follow the example of Christ.” Philippians 4:9 reads,”whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice.”

Children need parents to nurture their character, affirm their value and help them pursue God dream for their life. The goal of spiritual parents should be to help their spiritual children mature and to cast vision for how they can help nurture the next generation. We need spiritual parents who are willing to nurture spiritual children and help them grow.

Everyone who follows Jesus Christ is called to be mentored and become a spiritual parent. Maybe it’s time for you to seek out someone who is further down the spiritual journey and invite them into your life to be a spiritual parent to you. I also encourage you to pray and seek out someone for whom you can be a mentor to. You don’t have to know it all, but what you do possess and understand, pass it on as an investment in the next generation. Trust me, they are waiting to meet you.

What do you think? Join the conversation.