Comments on: spiritual family first

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:48:10 +0000

Ryan, I think you’re right. It’s not just the new people, it’s allot of people. There is more to becoming truly connected and fulfilled in a relationship than just having a conversation. It’s about the journey from the superficial into the deeper values of our lives. We have to be willing to go beyond the veneer and see the value in others, beyond what’s displayed.

Everyone has their preferences of relationships based on style, life-stage, interests, etc. We all are “profiled” in some way or another. The real issue for me, no matter what our preferences is that God has created every human being with great value and we who follow Jesus must develop eyes to find it. It’s not easy, but I believe it’s simple. “Putting yourself out there” to be that kind of person is a demonstration that you are willing to “go first” no matter how others will respond. It’s becoming what you’re looking for.

Thanks for sharing!

By: ryan

ryan — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:12:20 +0000

Sadly, it isn’t just the new people who don’t have relationship, connection, mentoring, a “cloud of witnesses.” My wife and I have looked long and hard for any type of friendship or family connection and have only just begun to find anything like that at SL. I think many of our past churches, friends, and acquaintances find my family unique and completely off the main beaten path, and though we like it that way, it is awfully difficult to find anyone else who doesn’t mind our unconventionality. I really don’t know why.

Perhaps being a geek makes me entirely 180 from the norm, so I don’t get this whole connection/social deal very much, but I guess “putting yourself out there” was all it took, give and take, push and pull, to be a part of a community. Maybe I have a lot to learn. I’m glad Thrive is here to maybe peel off the confusion a little bit. Thanks.

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 06:22:13 +0000

Angie, I love the example of the fridge. I agree that the key is making people feel like they are at home when they are with you. I think we all desire to have honest, transparent relationships with others but we have to be willing to go there first most of the time! I make so many excuses myself, more than I want to admit to as well.

But I began to experience some freedom from what others thought about me when I began to have a better understanding of my acceptance in Christ. I’m unconditionally accepted by Him, not because of anything good I brought to the table. I began to see in the Bible how He fully, unconditionally loves me for free. I’m valued, in spite of my “baggage.” That was very liberating and helped me realize that everyone else is on that same journey to. We all just want to be accepted and loved for free. So, if I’ve got it from Jesus, with His help, I can pass it on.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

By: MamaChillemi

MamaChillemi — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:47:26 +0000

This subject always reminds me of the service Dave Sachlaben did on ‘Refrigerator Rights’. It may have been before you joined SL, but the message was so simple: Love your church family enough to give them refrigerator rights in your home and in your life. When they come over, they are family. They can dig in your pantry and help themselves, because you love them enough to share, and they love you enough to not judge when you didn’t wipe out the back of the shelves prior to them searching.

I have craved relationships like what you described with your mentor for so long, and for some reason we are just starting to find them. There are many things that attribute to people not wanting to be THAT honest with others, but for me the biggest reason is I wasn’t ready to be THAT honest with myself. And I was scared because I had thrown myself out there before, only to find judgment from others. It is scary, but I can honestly say now, it is worth it!